New Years Musings and self reflection

So, forget all the pap about new years resolutions regarding drinking, diets, hobbies etc. Ive been thinking alot lately about myself as a person, my character, my traits, my strengths and weaknesses and how I can improve as a person. Sometimes I get so caught up in day to day banality that I guess I forget to take a check on who I actually am, as opposed to just acting in the moment.

So.

I will not be embarrassed or ashamed to be opinionated. This sometimes gets me in a lot of hot water with people, but you know what? Id rather have an opinion and the guts to stick by it than some wishy washy girl whose brain is filled with Eastenders and Miss Selfridge. All the people I truly admire are fearless when it comes to what they believe in, and I will strive to be more like them, than sit on a fence or bury my feelings on something. I like to think im diplomatic and always willing to listen to someone's argument but I shant fear treading on toes for what I believe in. People arent remembered in history for sitting on the fence.

I will also try and remember of all the things I have experienced and achieved. So, next time I decide I cant be bothered to go into the work kitchen because i feel ten per cent intimidated, I will remember for example, that I lived in NYC, so I really shouldnt be taking shit from a bunch of 20 year olds hogging the microwave.

I will at least attempt to curb my bitchy witchy gossipy ways. Unless its really funny or interesting.

I will try and stop trying to manipulate so much to get my own way - as my Dad says ' whatever is meant for
you will never go pas you.'

I will not take any off the cuff comments from people that make me feel shit about myself. Therefore, please bore off with your talk about how you feel fat today. I hope you actually get fat. Any kind of fat shaming comments shall be swiftly dealt with.

I will be more confident in my job and stop being so half assed because I am actually pretty good at it when I try. I will spend less time reading the daily mail and emailing my friends.

I will stop comparing my lifestyle, looks, personality etc to other peoples.

I will also spend less time discussing other peoples lives, and focus more on my own.

And seriously seriously...stop eating crisps for dinner.

Soundtrack to 2012 ( and my life )

Azealia Banks: 212.

Warpaint: Undertow

The Runaways: Cherrybomb.

The Raveonettes: Love in a trashcan

Dirty Three: Some Summers They Drop Like Flies. Saw a burlesque dance to this. Increds.

13/01/13

Well...thirteen days into 2013. Hows it going for you so far?

 After my last blog update I got dressed up like a goth Cherie Curie and headed out to Islington with Erica, Dean, Lauren, Mark and Liam and apparently Brucie who of course never made it over from shoreditch. Anywhoo, cheap NYE, few beers, mega dance moves, relishing a pretty much 24  hour tube and home and bed by 3am.

New Years day I did what I reckon most of the country were doing: laying down watchingc rap tv and trying to demolish the last of any food that tastes remotely nice before the mandatory detox diet bollocks starts. And so as I lay in bed, making all kinds of resolutions about drinking, diet, money etc. my flatmate Felicity came home at around 5pm STILL UP and going from NYE. suddenly my flat contained eat tlondon party monsters and I when the irish suggested a new years day drink...i thought hair of the dog was spot on. We went to spoons which was empty and subdued and headed off to The Palm Tree in Mile End in Victoria Park which as also...empty. Still, a few pints were sunk while I vehemenly told myself ' from tomorrow, no more!'

Wednesday rolled around, off to work we trudged and I stuck to my word and went to Sainsburys in Whitechapel to stock up on all kind of green and brown food.

And then Thursday happened and I found myself in he pub with The Irish again althought his time I avoided beer and stuck to wine.

Friday rolled around and we got a bunch of free drinks vouchers so I figured that also didnt count towards my new years resolutions because technically I didnt spend any money. RIGHT?!

So I locked myself away all weekend to recover of the stress of being back at work and allowed myself a cider, some maple and chocolate popcorn and the woman in black. And that erm..also doesnt count because it was the weekend.

Monday I went to spoons for a burger and more pints with the irish. And that doesnt count because erm....I didnt pay for it?

Seriously though. I will do a post about resolutions shortly.

So....mid month, everyone is broke and I am pretty surprised I dont have bed sores from all the layimg around and watching netflix.  But there is a bunch of stuff to look forward to - arty crochet knit craftng cocktail classes with erica and carrie, picking up my camera again

http://carmenluvian.tumblr.com/

And no doubt milking lots of drinks vouchers to get me through the next two weeks.